Relationships

“The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.” ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Relationships are an important part in the lives of people everywhere. Interaction with family,friends, and even significant others help to shape people into who they are. Romantic Relationships especially are a very big deal. It seems as if lack of a boyfriend means that you aren't doing something right or that something is wrong with you. Being surrounded by a flurry of couples on a daily basis can do a lot to a person's self esteem. However, i'm not in a rush to get myself a boyfriend and it's taken  me quite a while to be comfortable with that idea. I used to think that i wasn't pretty because i didn't have a boyfriend, and i racked my brain questioning myself as to what was wrong with me. I used to pick out my flaws and say maybe this is why i'm not good enough or whatever... But then one day i said... who is going to love me if i don't love myself. Like the quote at the beginning of this post says, the most powerful relationship i will have is the one i forge with myself. Having a boyfriend isn't going to make me love myself or make me look any different. Learning to love myself, be at one with myself, and accept it is all apart of being happy with myself.

However, even though i have reached this understanding, lots of people elsewhere haven't. Some women still feel the need to let a man define them. " A busy, vibrant, goal-oriented woman is so much more attractive than a woman who waits around for a man to validate her existence"(Mandy Hale). We should teach girls that there is more to aspire to in life than to be at the side of a man. We should instill in our girls the values which consist of hard work and making a good name for yourself instead of going to guy after guy to be happy. I'm not saying that boyfriends are bad, but our approach towards the concept should definitely be changed. Having a man isn't everything, sometimes when you evaluate things you would have been better off single. You should be fully comfortable with yourself before you go around asking other people to add their luggage and issues to yours. Relationships require balance and you should only get into one if you have the right reasons. I'm going to wait until i find the right person before i have a relationship. You have to love yourself before you can think of loving anyone else. And the fact of the matter is, having a boyfriend right now wouldn't make an explosive difference in my life.  If there is a guy who can accept my quirks and flaws i'll be happy to give him a chance.

“Hope for love, pray for love, wish for love, dream for love…but don’t put your life on hold waiting for love.” ― Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

“Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out.” ― Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

“Being brave enough to be alone frees you up to invite people into your life because you want them and not because you need them.” ― Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

Food For Thought: The Problem With Weight

It irks me every time a person comments on a photograph of a slim person and says that they need a cheeseburger, or on the photograph of a thick girl and calls her a cow... it truly irks me. Weight on both ends of the spectrum is a serious problem in society. The only reason that a problem with self esteem, self perception, and weight problems exist is because society keeps attacking people who they think have a problem. Generalization is not going to help the problem. All slender people are not anorexic and all heavy set individuals are not comfort eating. You would never have known that there was a problem with your weight until someone pointed it out to you. Society constantly victimizes individuals on both sides of the spectrum. This behaviour has not only produced self hate but hatred among the people being singled out. Fluffy girls who dislike slim girls single them out call them toothpicks and twigs, and slim girls ridicule fluffy women and label them cows. How is this healthy for society? As i person on the lighter side of the scale, i have had my fair share of problems. My mother (who i don't live with) has constantly asked me where my food goes to... she tells her friends that i don't eat food which is why i "blow in the wind". Bear in mind that i don't live with her so she has no idea of my eating habits and is judging me based on an assumption. I happen to eat a lot of food but my high metabolism is what hinders me from keeping on any significant pounds... We shouldn't do this to our girls. They are beautiful no matter what size they are. What if society just ignored weight and stopped objectifying women on a whole. Do you know how much better the world would be? The media and the male ideal for women has greatly influenced our view of women. When men preferred that women be skinny, women forced themselves into corsets to please them.. now men prefer curves and ass and women are killing themselves to squat and get plastic surgery & injections. Why can't we just be accepted for who we are as individuals and not what we look like? Being skinny is not a problem, anorexia is, and it so happens to be a side effect of the negative mindset of society. And you cannot alleviate the problem you created by calling all skinny girls anorexic and saying eat more food... that only makes things a lot worse. Weighing more than 140lbs is not a problem... plus size is not a problem. telling a plus sized woman to eat a salad will not suddenly make plus sized women go away. It creates a bigger problem and society is hypocritical for doing this. Society created anorexia and obesity. All i have to say is love the skin you're in.