A few days ago I lived to see my 23rd birthday. There was no “Pomp and Circumstance” and I was celebrating behind closed doors isolated from the world due to this novel pandemic. I haven’t written a reflective post about my birthday since I turned 20. That was 3 years ago.
In the past year of my life I graduated from University, started a professional post-graduate programme, and moved to a new city. September to present have been the most difficult months of my entire life. I’ve been learning to cope with an enormous workload, understanding how fortunate I was to live in London near my aunt, and realized that life will only ever get more challenging.
My life has been on fast forward for the past few months that the stoppage the pandemic has caused allowed me space to breathe and stretch. I was plied with exams and deadlines that have now become spaced out and I feel as if a weight has left me. However, on the flip side It’s also caused a change of plans and that change has led me to worry. Worries about the economy and job prospects and my future livelihood because those are things that I now have to take responsibility for. I worry about the future because no one else plans it for me anymore, I have to do it for myself.
It clicked after I graduated that I have now seriously become my own person, even though I am a dependent I am not a child. It also dawned on me that I am now the only person who sets rules and boundaries for myself. I realized that at my age old rules I lived by no longer strictly apply and following them is at my discretion.
I started reflecting on people in my life and realizing that only a handful have actually bothered to get to know and understand me at different phases of my life. Who I am now and Who I was 5 years ago are drastically different people. I have also come to realize how I view support and involvement has changed how I navigate relationships with people around me.
I have learned and I am continuing to learn to see myself differently. How do I see myself at 23?
I see myself as grateful. Grateful to those who understand me and learn to love me through my changes. Grateful to God for the life that I am living and the talents that I have.
I see myself as accomplished. I have achieved a lot in my short span of 23years and I am proud of myself. I have done a lot of things and seen a lot of places and I plan to keep accomplishing more things.
I see myself as resilient. I am pushing through a challenging year, a challenging program and learning so many things about myself in the process.
I see myself as a creative and an advocate. I see myself as a game changing visionary. I see myself as a thinker and an explorer.
This is How I see myself.
