According to Despondency/Despondent:



state of being despondent; depression of spirits from loss of courage or hope; dejection.

That word...a synonym for depressed is how I've been feeling as of late. I seem to attract a series of misfortunes, much like the siblings in the beloved novels by Lemony Snicket. For one, My iPhone is on the fritz... again. So I had to send it to Apple to be repaired.. and that process is taking too long for my liking since I don't live in a first world territory. No adequate cellphone means that I'm less likely to be social and access to things I really enjoy IE Apple Music and Vscocam have become relatively strained. 

I've visited quite a few cool haunts during my period without my cellphone, and since I'm separated from my trusty iPhone Camera I have no means of taking the photo as I don't always lug around my DSLR. So despite all my Explorations, I can't recap the memories as well.. I'm phone-less. Again. That can actually be quite depressing.

I mean it's not all bad per se... It would suck completely if I was totally cut off. I have a Macbook, an iPod, a Tablet and a Back up phone... and this kinda made me realize that I put a wee bit too much value into that iPhone. I can still do the same things that I did before.. I can still use Apple Music on my Macbook, Tweet and stalk the gram on my tablet, back up phone and iPod... yet for some reason.. i felt disconnected.. cut off.

Then it hit me. The whole lesson that I was supposed to learn in the first place. All that glitters in life is not a classy cellphone. I'm not by any means at a deficit. I'm just being ... what's the word... dramatic. I also learned another thing aswell... Pride is a very tricky thing you see. Having an iPhone makes one feel very "#MoneyTeam" especially if you bought it yourself, and being seen with something 'less than flashy' makes you feel kind of funny. So I understand now ... FINALLY... that weighing your value against your possessions is actually a very stupid thing. Says alot about how warped your self concept is.... and made me even more despondent because I realized that i did that.

But then... we all do it don't we. We push ourselves to own nice clothes and expensive brands and build large houses just so that we can feel better about ourselves. Our entire appearance and how we style ourselves is to attract people's attention so they can see that we're on a different level. What happens when at the end of the day, you lose all that glitz and glamour and all that's left is a person.. would you still feel good about yourself?

So even though my iPhone will be back soon and I'll feel like my old self again.. I've taken away this lesson. So now I don't feel bad because i realize I'm not at a loss. I'm still me with or without an iPhone, Macbook, iPod, etc... Because those things don't make me a valuable person and putting pride in possession for the wrong reason is deadly. That's some food for thought.